Freshman year of college. Big adjustment to say the least. It's been both a good year, and a difficult one. It definitely has been full of some unexpected challenges and is leading to even more unexpected roads.
By the end of senior year, everything seemed perfect. I had been accepted to my dream school, got my first choice dorm, and was going to be living with a very good friend. I was getting out of the small town and even smaller school that I had grown up in and was off to a big city filled with new people and also a new sense of independence. I was so ready to get out. I was so ready for something new. I was so ready for my freshman year of college.
I had it all planned out- I knew exactly what I wanted to major in, what career path I wanted to take, I was going to make all these new friends, stay out late, and do what I pleased. My sister is also a senior here, so I've visited many times over the years. I knew so much about the school that most people learn freshman year. I had it all figured out.
Then first semester hit my like a brick wall.
My dream school that I've always loved so much began to change- leaving its past and beloved traditions behind and pushing more towards a generic face. My first living situation was rather.. incompatible- though things did end on good terms and I do still talk to some of my first roommates. This big, new city got small very quickly. And making friends didn't come as easily as I thought it would.
I also didn't realize how big of an adjustment it would be.
Here's my year in a very small shell:
August- Move in day. New city, new place to live, surrounded by all new people, basically LOTS of new.
October- New room with a new roommate and new suite mates.
January- Roommate transfers to another school, so I now have ANOTHER new roommate.
(Side note: this is in non way meant to be an insult to my roommates. Love them to death. Just talking all the adjusting I've had to do this year.)
I realized my major and career plans weren't actually where I wanted to be.
Next, the big difference between my hometown and here:
Hometown- Conservative die-hard GOP Republicans to the bone
Here- Deep blue in the deep south. And very vocal about it.
That's not to say anything against either political party, just to show what a culture shock this year has been.
Like I said before, my sister is a senior at the school. I knew so much about the school before coming here. I knew which dorms to request, I knew which dining halls were better, I knew which restaurants downtown were the best(on a student's budget at least), I knew which upperclassmen dorms to try to get. I didn't know it all, but I certainly came in knowing ALOT. And I thought that would be a good thing. I realized quickly though, that it took away a lot of the adventure for me. This year I learned that I'm the kind of person who thrives on adventure, so knowing so much coming in came with some disappointment. Suddenly, this place didn't seem so new anymore.
Lastly, I didn't realize just how much I was going to miss my mom. Being away from her as been incredibly, incredibly difficult.
I'm going to stop there about all of that so I can get to what it is I really want to say-
Yeah, I got my dream school. And, despite all of the craziness this year has brought, I still love this school. I still love this city. What I've realized though, is that things don't always work out. I achieved a dream of mine, and I realized it wasn't what I thought it would be. It hasn't been all bad. But we make our decisions the best we can and sometimes we realize that God's plans for our lives are different than our own. Sometimes we realize, just maybe the place we belong is the last place we expected.
You can make these decisions for all the right reasons, and sometimes it still won't work out.
What I've realized though is that it's okay. It's okay for things to not work out. It's okay to get there and realize it's not what you want anymore. Maybe the place wasn't what you thought. Or maybe it's exactly what you thought, but you're the one that has changed.
I never would have thought in a million years that I would ever even consider transferring.
But here I am, hoping and praying that it my transfer for the fall works out.
Anyone that tells your freshman year is easy- either they got REALLY REALLY lucky, or they're just plain lying.
Freshman year is tough. But, freshman year is also unlike anything else. Like anything in life, it will have its ups and its downs. You'll meet some great people, and you'll meet some people you try to avoid whenever you see them. You'll love your roommate, and you'll fight with your roommate. You'll love where you are, and then sometimes you might wish it was different. You'll probably learn a new thing or two in class; but, more importantly, you will learn so much about yourself.
For me, that's been the best part.
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